8/12/2012

What is up?

Do you ever get to a point in your life where you feel like you have lost yourself? I have been feeling this way and it is making me miserable. I haven't been making anything. I had lost the want to be creative. I haven't picked up a crochet hook in months and miss blogging. It is branching into other parts of my life as well. I never want to cook, my house is a mess, I hardly ever see my extended family and never see my friends, I never feel pretty. Every morning I have to bargain with myself to get out of bed, put my feet on the floor, and get ready for work. Things have been stressful at home and work. Six months at this job and I have never found a good balance between the two. Two days off from work is not nearly enough to accomplish everything I need to do. If we haven't already made plans, it is tough to find the gumption to remove myself from the couch. Is this just depression? I don't know but this hopeless feeling has got to go.

I have so much to be happy about. We are pregnant again! While I am excited about the baby, this pregnancy has been rough. I spent weeks feeling queasy and exhausted. I feel like I have lost familiarity with my body. I am beginning to not fit in some of my clothes. Unfortunately, being overweight, it takes me a while to look pregnant and not just chubbier. Today I am 14 weeks, making it my 2nd trimester! I am hopeful for increased energy. I need it. There is a lot to do before baby comes. We need to get our house ready to put on the market, sell it and find something a little bigger for our growing family.
I am struggling with the steps to gain my sense of self back. Where do I begin?

Love,
Brooke

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